


I Want To Love You

by themiscklancevault



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Black Paladin Keith (Voltron), Celebrations, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-16 20:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11836770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themiscklancevault/pseuds/themiscklancevault
Summary: Stranded on a planet and separated from the other Paladins, Lance and Keith land in an isolated village. During the celebration the villagers throw for them, Lance gets drunk off the local beverage and things begin to come out from the shadows.





	1. Mad with Love

The humid night on the desert-like planet was dark, but the warm orange glow of the village was more than enough. The small village, home to less than a hundred four foot tall aliens, was growing rowdy and loud as the celebration carried on. Earlier that day, all of the paladins were in their lions and followed Keith, the black lion paladin, down to the planet trying to follow a lead on one of Lotor's generals. It seemed this was just another trap.

Along the ride down into the atmosphere, the paladins got lost in the wispy clouds and soon, they were separated. Luckily, Lance managed to find Keith and followed him safely down to the ground where they easily found the nearby village in the desert. 

"Averians!" The leader of the village spoke. His species were all the same height, had the same light blue skin, yellow eyes, and snow-white hair. Their ears were on top their heads like a dog or cat. They were among the most friendly species Lance and Keith had come across recently. "Tonight," the leader continued. "We celebrate the arrival of Voltron!"

The other villagers were seated on the floor in the village square. They all gave an answering cheer that slightly echoed throughout the land. In front of the crowd of Averians, sat Lance and Keith with their lions behind them. 

Lance was smiling and waving, truly enjoying the attention. As the leader continued with their big speech about Voltron, Lance slowly stopped his waving and he leaned over towards Keith, "This is kinda awkward now. You sure this was a good idea?"

Keith didn't bother turning towards Lance when he answered. He kept his eyes forward, "This beats going off on our own." 

The leader's voice distracted them. "Now then! Let us feast!" After the villagers cheered again, the Averian walked back toward where Lance and Keith sat. "Dear paladins, I will get you your meal! Please, relax and enjoy the music!" Then he dashed off before either paladin could thank him.

Just as they were left alone, a few Averians got out musical instruments and began playing a fast melody. 

Lance laughed as he watched the band. "Hunk would love this," He said. "Especially with the food on its way. Where do you think the others landed?"

Keith crossed his arms and momentarily looked upward to the black lion. "I dunno," He sighed. "Hopefully not too far. As soon as the sunrises, we leave to look for them. Got it?" He finally turned inward to face Lance and the two locked eyes. 

Eventually, the Averian village leader returned with food and drink for the both of them and the festivities went on. The leader had sat next to Keith as they all ate and drank.

After a while, Lance gave a satisfied holler. "Wow! This food was delicious! Do you think I could take some back with me for the others?" His face brightened up as he looked to Keith for his permission. 

"Well," Keith began as he took a sip from the cup the Averian leader had given him. "I guess we could as long as it doesn't spoil."

The leader waved his hand to reassure Lance. "Oh! Do not worry! I will get you a containment unit for more food before you leave us!" With that, the leader returned to drinking from his own cup.

With the constant sounds of music, loud chatter, and the crackling of the torches around him, Keith's head began to feel a bit heavy. It was as if his entire body was bloated and he was filling up with helium. He let out an audible grunt as he put his hand to his head. He then looked at the cup in his other hand. Something wasn't right. It tasted fine as far as Keith was concerned. It tasted very faintly of a mix of berries. It couldn't be alcohol, could it? The leader next to Keith was busy chatting with a nearby villager when Keith tapped the Averian's shoulder. "Excuse me," He spoke up over the noise. "What's this drink you've been giving us?"

The leader returned his attention to Keith. "It's our customary celebratory drink! Please, enjoy more!" He reached forward and picked up a large jug full of the dark red liquid. 

Keith swallowed nervously. His gut told him two things: it wasn't feeling normal, and that in that red liquid contained alcoholic components. It was like wine. It was dangerous. Keith shook his head and put his cup down on the dirt floor. "No thank you...I'll just finish this...You go enjoy yourself, sir..." Keith then scooted closer to Lance as the leader's attention went away from him yet again. "Lance," Keith whispered. Right away, the dizziness came just as expected. "Lance!" He cried out. Suddenly, the feeling of panic washed over him. 

Lance had been talking to a female Averian who sat to his right side. He jerked his head away from her unwillingly to look back at Keith. "Hm? What's wrong?" Just as Lance spoke, he lifted the cup to drink more, but Keith grabbed Lance's wrist. 

"Lance, don't drink anymore. It's alcohol. We shouldn't be drinking." Keith then realized how weird he was feeling. The alcohol was suddenly rearing its ugly head inside his blood stream. It was scary how much like normal berry juice that drink was like. It almost didn't have that "poisonous" taste alcohol had to first time drinkers. 

Lance just stared at Keith, not even minding that Keith was holding his wrist. "Hey, man. It's cool. It's just a drink."

Keith's grip tightened. "No, you don't get it. As your leader, I'm telling you to stop. We have a mission to get the others, get out of here, and find Lotor's generals."

Finally, Lance's eyes lit up with urgency. He pulled his arm away from Keith and quickly downed the drink remaining in his cup. "Hey, Krinex!" Lance called to the leader. "Get me some more juice!"

But Keith was having none of it. "Stop it!" He yelled. He made the effort to reach over and slap the cup out of Lance's hand. The tall cup had fallen onto the dirt ground and began rolling away. "Let's just go to the room they gave us and sleep this off. We can't afford to be so hungover tomorrow morning!" 

Luckily for Keith, the Averian leader had not heard Lance. Keith took this opportunity to stand up and grab Lance to drag him inside the inn nearby, but as Keith got onto his knee, he felt his leg wobble under the weight. "Crap," Keith grunted under his breath. He fell back down onto his butt. "I can't even get up..."

"Man, how much did you drink!?" Lance laughed. "I didn't even notice anything unusual about the juice, but it's really good!" He then looked around for the leader, Krinex, again, but the leader was now standing up and visiting groups of his people to check on them. "Damn...Hey, Keith, go grab the jug. We can go off on our own and-"

"Lance, you really are stupid. This is why I can never trust you."

Keith's words made Lance freeze. Lance's face fell. Now the alcohol had turned his thoughts ugly. Once filled with the innocent fun of being drunk, Lance was now getting upset. He froze in place, not bothering to reply at all. It's not as if he needed to. 

Keith was clearly determined to push through this early buzz and get to bed before he could get any more "juice" in his system. He tried a second time to get up, and this time he succeeded. Without looking back at Lance, Keith went to Krinex, said his thanks and then walked away towards the inn.

It had been hours since he had left the party early. 

Keith had just gotten comfortable in the bed when he heard the door creak open. He rolled over to his side, expecting Lance to just wobble inside without a ruckus. Unfortunately, Lance slammed the bedroom door shut and stood there in front of the large bed they would have shared. "I hate you," Lance's voice sounded so low and dark. Despite being tired, Keith felt a jolt of energy flow through him. He was actually scared of the angry tone in his friend's voice. But Keith stayed where he was on the bed and just kept his cautious gaze on Lance.

"I..." Lance began again. "I hate you!"

Keith swallowed hard. Where did this come from? "Really?" His voice cracked. He then bit the inside of his cheek for how childish he sounded. This wasn't supposed to get this far. He scolded himself for not dragging Lance inside with him earlier. Then maybe Lance wouldn't be mad right now. 

"N-No! Not..." Lance caught himself. He then wobbled forward into the room a bit more. "I don't!"

It was confusing. Keith took in a sharp breath, half expecting Lance to fall over. As Keith lay there, watching and waiting, wanting to hear what a drunk Lance had to truly say, he felt nervous. What if all this drunk rambling was true? After all they'd been through together as a pair, would Lance truly hate him?

Tears welled up in Lance's eyes. "I hate the way you make me feel! Y-You! You just...!" Lance wiped his eyes with his sleeve and yet again, he took more steps forward, his foot nearly bumping into the bed frame. "I can't even act normal around you!" He yelled. This time his voice had risen far beyond anything Keith wanted to experience. But Lance's drunk mind wanted to explode. "Can’t even talk to you without my chest hurting! I try so hard to impress you! To make you laugh! I only end up making a fool of myself and then I—!" A brief pause. Lance’s eyes were overflowing with tears and he tried to not blink and release them. “I hate myself for it! Because you—! You really mess me up!”

Keith threw the blanket off of himself and immediately rushed to Lance's side. "Lance, you're drunk. Just come lie down." He reached forward, his hand barely making contact with the fabric of Lance's shirt sleeve. 

But Lance pulled away swiftly. 

While putting his arm back down to his side, Keith wondered silently if he should bother giving Lance a pep talk. He's drunk. Would Lance even remember this conversation? Keith almost could feel the anger bubbling within him, threatening to rise up. He was just a volcano ready to erupt. 

Lance was not fine with this silent treatment. His eyes stung. The tears fell when he was caught off guard by his own frustration. “I hate how I know I’m not good enough for anyone! Especially you! So…I hate you for every time I feel myself fall deeper in love with you…And it’s because I know you’re completely out of my league! Why do you make me love you?”

Keith's eyes widened. It was as if a powerful gust of wind just knocked him out in the gut. As much as it was a shock, it further just confused him. "I...I don't believe this..." He spoke absentmindedly. His brain was still struggling to catch up with Lance's. Lance was drunk. Keith was halfway sober by then and could just feel the early pains of a hangover. 

Lance looked like he was in so much pain and anguish. He put a hand on his arm and looked down to the floor, extremely crestfallen. "I just wanted to have a fun time alone with you here at the party...and yet you leave me alone out there!" 

Keith felt so ready to reply quick and fast like normal, but words got lost in the maze of his mind. They were a lost cause at this point. Keith's heart began pounding hard and it hurt. He knew what he had to do. He pushed aside the weird feelings and forced himself to put his hand on Lance's shoulder. "You're just drunk. You don't mean any of this. No one loves me. Just go lie down." 

Lance cried out in fury and shoved Keith away so hard that Keith fell back onto the bed. "Don't touch me! I'm afraid of getting closer to you! Especially since you clearly don't even take me seriously!" 

There it was again. That anger. Keith growled as he propped himself up onto his elbows. "How can I when you're drunk, Lance!? You don't mean anything you say right now!" Before Lance could jump to another hasty come back, Keith shot up back to his feet. He pushed himself to get right up in Lance's face. "Maybe you're right! I AM out of your league!" 

"Good!" Lance yelled back. "Now tell me you hate me!" 

Keith opened his mouth to yell more, but he stopped himself once the weight of Lance's words took hold. "What!? N-No! I don't even-"

Lance sniffled before walking to the bed, lying down, and just hiding underneath the covers. There was no protest. No second word. No second glance. It was over. Keith stood there, watching Lance seemingly relax enough to close his eyes. He took the time to calm himself down before joining Lance on the bed to get more sleep. Deep down, Keith knew this night wouldn't go away. The foolish part of him hoped and wished and prayed that Lance’s words were just drunk ramblings, but the logical part of him knew that all of it was true and there would be no escape from it later on. He swallowed hard as he watched the drunk Lance breathe gently. Finally, Keith lay next to Lance and faced him, but could do nothing but confusingly stare at the back of Lance's head. “Good night, Lance,” He whispered, before shutting his eyes.


	2. A Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Lance's drunken outburst, Keith wonders what to do. Neither of them know how to fix things.

That night in bed, Keith could not stop thinking about Lance. He loves me. Keith repeated that phrase over and over in his head, and his perspective on his friend changed. How many times did Lance say something snarky and then glance over at him? Or how many times has Lance praised Keith during battle? It all looked and felt different now that Keith knew Lance’s true intentions. He’s in love with me, he repeated it once more. Keith tossed and turned all night, unable to relax. 

With all of this running rampant through his mind, he sat up in bed with a frustrated grunt. He couldn’t take it. All the thoughts about Lance just filled him up and he felt suffocated. No matter how long he lay in bed, Lance just would never leave his thoughts. 

How long has that idiot felt this way? Keith asked himself. From nowhere, a new thought flew through his mind: How do I feel about him? 

His heart reacted to his own question. It was pounding hard just like before. It had to mean the most obvious thing, right? But Keith shook his head, trying to ignore the obvious. We can’t feel like this, he told himself. He had to remind himself that they were paladins and they had to focus on that duty instead of personal feelings.

Keith narrowed his eyes once he settled on laying on his side again. He stared and stared at the back of Lance's head, wondering if he could ever act the same around him. His blood turned cold once he felt a twinge of fear in his belly. Perhaps it would be impossible to ignore Lance's outburst. After all, a drunk man's word was usually the hidden truth deep inside. Why must alcohol always bring out the ugly side of things? 

Keith barely got any sleep. He didn't even realize he'd dozed off. 

In the morning, Keith was greeted with an empty bed. Just outside the window, the sky was a light purple, showing that the sun would shortly rise in about an hour to two. Shaking off the tiredness, he shook his head and jumped out of bed. He was more than ready to put last night behind him. "Lance?" Keith called out as he began rushing himself to put back on his paladin suit. But Lance was nowhere to be seen. Keith couldn't help but feel worried. Once he put his helmet on, he dashed around to check the bathroom and closet, but both were empty. 

As he left the inn, thanking the innkeeper on his way outside, Keith decided to use the communication property of the helmet. "Lance? Come in, Lance. Where are you?" Static was his only reply. Keith made tight fists, getting more frustrated than he already was thanks to last night. 

Despite the sun not rising yet, only a few Averians were out and about walking around. Keith had to awkwardly wave back to a few passerbys. After a few minutes, he decided to wait in the town square with the lions. Thankfully, the lions were both still there and untouched. He crossed his arms and leaned on the arm of the black lion, wondering if he should just leave with the black lion and leave Lance to his own devices. Though it felt wrong, he considered it more than twice. By the time the sun was just peeking over the horizon, Keith knew it was a little bit too long for Lance to not be here by the lions. 

"Lance!" Keith ended up yelling into his helmet system. Again, static. He was too far from the other paladins and the reception here was dreadful. It was bad enough Keith had no one else to fall back on but Lance. Keith growled in anger. He then flashed back to last night. The look in Lance's eyes as he confessed his true feelings. It made Keith feel fear once more. 

"Keith!"

Keith gasped as he heard his name. He whirled around and there, next to the red lion, stood Lance. The new red paladin had a hand on his hip as he stared him down. Keith swallowed nervously as he realized again how Lance truly felt on the inside. 

"Keith," Lance smiled. "I'm here. Sorry about that. I was talking to some really cute Averian chicks." 

Anger was quick to return. "You wasted dawnlight, Lance," Keith grunted. "We need to go look for the others. They have to be here on the planet." Without wanting to look at Lance any longer, he turned to go into the black lion. Once both lions roared to life, more Averians got out of their wooden houses to crowd around them to cheer loudly for Voltron. 

 

For an hour, they flew away from the Averian village in silence. Eventually, Lance grew restless and he spoke first. "So...about last night..." He began sheepishly. 

Keith tried to ignore Lance, but the longer the quiet between them went on, the more Lance's words weighed him down. "What about it?" Keith finally answered. 

"I woke up feeling really hungover...I guess you were right."

Something about that just made Keith's anger worse. "Last night? Last night was a mistake, Lance. A huge one. Blame yourself."

Lance winced at Keith's snappy tone. He sat back in his pilot's seat as his grip on the controls tightened. He pulled the red lion up to be closer to the black lion. "Keith, I'm sorry. I know I acted out of line by drinking."

"Then act like you're sorry," Keith sighed. He moved the black lion away, trying to avoid Lance once more. 

Lance fell back into the silence that remained. There was something wrong. Really wrong. Lance just didn't remember what happened last night, nor could he figure out why Keith was angry. Sure, the new black paladin was angry that he drank to the point of getting drunk. It was beyond irresponsible. That much was clear, but Lance still held onto the groggy feeling in his head that something else was keeping Keith pissed off.

"Look," Lance tried again. "What happened last night?"

"You came back to the room drunk as an idiot," Keith huffed back.

Lance raised an eyebrow. "I obviously said something to upset you. I know you by now, man. I know when I've screwed up."

"Just leave it. Last night was a mistake and you know it." 

Now it was Lance who growled out in frustration. "What did I say?"

"Forget it, Lance."

"Keith, please. I hate it when I make you mad!"

"I said shut up!" At once, the black lion flew up higher into the clouds and left Lance at ground level. 

Lance watched helplessly as the black lion flew ways ahead of him. He knew then that Keith was avoiding last night. It was obvious that Lance hurt him, but how? He then decided to keep quiet until they found the others. 

 

Hours into their search, they crossed a jagged canyon and flew to the other side. They had reached an area full of raging sandstorms. 

"Keith, you don't think they're trapped in a sandstorm, do you?"

"No, Lance. If they were nearby, they would have picked up our signals and heard my call." 

Lance felt a jolt of hope as Keith was finally talking to him again. "Hey man..." He began again. "I hope they're okay."

"I'm sure they're fine," was Keith's only short reply.

"Tell me what happened last night."

"I said to leave it."

"Keith, we need to fix this. Just tell me and we can--" 

Suddenly, a huge gust of wind hit them and the lions stopped in mid air. The black lion got hit with a bare tree and some other accompanying debris. With the wind and sand, it hit Keith's lion hard and it slightly moved backward. "Dang it!" Keith swore. "Lance, we need to hurry out of this sand trap!" 

The red lion flew ahead and disappeared into the whirl of sand, leaving Keith behind. Panic struck Keith like lightning and his heart reacted in kind, pounding painfully fast. "Lance!" But the familiar static rung in his ear and he knew he'd lost contact. 

Keith's eyebrows furrowed as he thought about Lance. If I don't make it out of here, I won't be able to talk to Lance ever again!


End file.
